You’re beautiful just the way you are, you fat idiot!

Oh, alright – maybe that title is a bit harsh. Perhaps you’re just ignorant. We’re all ignorant about something or other. So, no big deal. As long as you don’t mind being poked, prodded and sliced open on hospital tables…

The whole idea behind “you’re beautiful just the way you are” is intended for things you cannot change. Nothing more. Nothing less. We’re living in a strange time where everything is supposed to be accepted. If you’re 300lbs, you F’ing need to lose weight. No, you DON’T look good – far from “beautiful” or “perfect”. You look like utter crap. I don’t look good now being 25lbs overweight. The last thing I need is for everyone to run over and start giving me hugs telling me how “perfect” I am. What kind of incentive is that to start eating more vegetables, less crap and exercise more consistently? Humanity is ridiculous.

So if your genetics gave you a super huge nose, big, floppy ears, or some other characteristic about your face or body that is less than what most people consider attractive – than yeah – you should just appreciate who you are. But if you’re obese, do something about it. Don’t just watch television and believe that since you’re “beautiful” it’s okay to stick with being lazy and eating whatever it is you’re eating to be obese.

Trust me, I feel your pain. I love eating. But we can’t just eat all we want and think everything is going to be okay. You heard it 18,000 times while you were growing up – “YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT”. It’s true. I’m not saying we can NEVER enjoy pizza, bacon cheeseburgers, ice cream, cookies, chips, cake – or a nice creamy bowl of mayonnaise :p – EVER – but in limited quantities.

And don’t forget about exercising…

#Listerine, #Plackers and #Orbitz – I haven’t had a cavity in 27 years

I remember once going to the dentist and being told I had ten cavities. For a kid in his early teens that was about the worst news you could get – besides F’s on your report card or a letter in the mail from school. I’d be lying if I said I never experienced any of those aforementioned things. :o

I’ve had plenty of bad dentist visits as a kid – including having six teeth abstracted in one day. But since I turned sixteen years old or so the coast has been clear. I’m now going on forty three years of age and haven’t had a cavity in about twenty seven years.

Part of this I owe to Listerine. I’m a bit of a Listerine junky. I use it occasionally throughout the day – as well as through the night whenever I wakeup to use the bathroom. And considering I drink a good bit of water before bed, that happens at least a couple of times every night.

I also love, love, love Plackers. I never used dental floss but now I do every night thanks to this awesome invention. This has allowed for a huge improvement in my dental health and now my dentist visit every six months is quick, painless and easy. My gums weren’t doing all too well several years ago – but they’re fine now. I also have hardly any tartar.

Last but not least I feel I should mention Orbitz sugarless gum. I chew quite a bit of it and I’m pretty confident it helps keep my teeth clean between meals.

Good dental hygiene is more important than most people are aware of. It directly affects the rest of your health and well being – even your heart. When was your last cavity or dental issue?

ObamaCare

Who else is enjoying ObamaCare as much as the rest of us?  My wife’s chiropractor doesn’t want to honor her remaining PRE-PAID sessions because they don’t equal the cost of what the payments should now be under ObamaCare. I forget what they call it but the name of the “plan” sounds economical although it costs more than what she was paying to begin with… Hooray for ObamaCare!

Now that being said, I do realize there are SOME good things about ObamaCare. It’s not all bad. But it’s a shame how we’re all being forced to switch. Danielle and I are still using our original plan but we’ll eventually need to switch over – by law…

A friend of mine was paying $1200 per month for his family under his previous plan. Under ObamaCare, $2400 per month. Nice, huh?

But I realize how it works. If it wasn’t for some of us paying twice as much for health care for our families, than how would the guy who didn’t study in school or apply himself afterwards be able to pay for his own family’s health care? So I suppose it all works out in the end.

My wife and I are anxious to switch over to ObamaCare so we can help spread the wealth for (lazy) less fortunate individuals…

</sarcasm>

Marijuana or Alcohol? Which do you prefer?

Alcohol or Marijuana? I choose alcohol. We all know what alcohol does to your liver – but keep it in control and your liver regenerates. That’s pretty awesome if you ask me…

Marijuana, on the other hand, is not only bad for your lungs (which take years to clean) – it alters your ability to process emotions, make decisions and reduces motivation – EVEN when you’re not “high”.

“…marijuana use leads to a condition called amotivation. Also called amotivational syndrome, this psychological condition causes people to become less oriented towards their goals and purposes in life, as well as seem less focused in general.”

I’ll take alcohol. At least when I’m done with it my liver fixes things and I can process emotions, make decisions and remain motivated and on track with my goals – as much as I would normally be…

If you smoke marijuana regularly you’re probably about to say, “B.S.! I’m PLENTY motivated!”. Yeah. That’s nice. You’d probably be a billionaire if you didn’t have a habit of smoking weed.

But…

To each his/her own… Happy, happy, joy, joy! :) :p :D

P.S. What do you prefer? Marijuana or alcohol?

Smartphones and their silly batteries

What is the DEAL?!

What is the deal with these things? Smartphones are getting bigger and lighter. Have you noticed? I like the larger screens and it’s “nice” that they’re becoming so light that I’m almost afraid to let them go – like helium filled balloons. But are a few ounces extra going to make or break a deal between devices?

What IF?! Hypofuckingthetically! The iPhone 6 had a battery that was 25% heavier than the battery in the iPhone 5 – and lasted 25% longer? What if?! What if…?

Would iPhone owners flock to the Samsung Galaxy S5, Motorola MotoX, LG Nexus 5 and HTC One M8?! Or vise verse?!

What the F’ing PIGEON NECK do you think? What would YOU do? What would JESUS do…?

PLEASETELLME.NET

I Need A Zero Mobile

So I’m turning in my leased 2012 Lexus LS460L at the end of July. I’ve been driving around in this floaty boat for two years. Before that, my last boat was a 2008 Lexus LS460L – ironically in the same exact color. So in essence, I’ve been driving the same car for four years. I can’t do the fullsize car thing again for awhile. I’m sick of it. Before this Lexus LS habit I had a 2007 BMW 335i. Now that I car I really liked – and never got tired of it (especially since it was modified and ran the 1/4 mile in the 12 second range). My wife hated it, however. Too fast. Too small. She wouldn’t be a passenger in it. Okay, fine…

I should mention that this zero mobile will be used strictly for:
1. Driving my wife and/or her parents around when she does want to drive her own vehicle.
2. Driving myself around when my Audi S4 is being repaired. And considering it’s extremely modified performance-wise, it’s not all that unusual to be in that position.

My wife loves big cars but doesn’t realize that it’s the turning in these big, floaty boats that makes her nauseas. To note, we avoid making turns as best as we can because she gets nauseas while doing so. (She says I take turns like a maniac but I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone because in my world I’m turning like an elderly man with loose internal organs. It’s a mystery of the unexplained). A small car rides too firmly. So a big car and a small car are both out of the question. That leaves us with a midsize car.

The Lexus LS has a 380 horsepower engine. I have no need for that. I cannot hit the gas too hard or my wife gets nauseas or afraid that I’m going to roll over, fall into a ditch, collide with the space shuttle, yada, yada, yada. So now I can save millions of dollars on gas while traveling to the local store, restaurant or occasional trip to Orlando since we no longer need a powerful engine.

I was considering an BMW 550i, Mercedes-Benz e550 and a few other “cool” and “powerful” midsize sedans – but why waste the money when I can never utilize the power unless I’m alone? Having a lot of power on hand and being unable to use it makes me feel like I belong in drug rehab. (Look! But don’t touch… Touch! But don’t taste… Taste! But don’t swallow…) And if I’m alone, I’m driving my “really fast” six speed manual (ie. fun) Audi S4. I’m not going to drive my “slow” fast car when I can drive my “fast” fast car. That makes no sense at all.

Creature comforts like cooled seats and stereo system? I really don’t need them. In fact, I’m thinking about removing the stereo system in my S4 as I prefer the sound of the exhaust. I never turn the stereo on in that car. Ever. And I can save about 30lbs – every pound counts when you live your life a quarter mile at a time. :p

I don’t need a loud stereo system in the new car because my wife only likes loud music when she’s driving in her own vehicle. I don’t need navigation because it works fine on my various smart phones. I really don’t need much. The car doesn’t need to be flashy – it’s a “second car”. My wife wants a BMW X5 or maybe a BMW X4 (new model this year). I’ll get her one of those and if we feel the need to drive around in style or whatever, we can always take her vehicle. I probably don’t need to mention that she won’t ride shotgun in my S4. :p

“MY” car — the car that “defines me” – will be my S4 until I replace it with something else. When I replace it, it’ll be with another fast, fun, cool car that I like to look at and am happy to be in. Perhaps a Corvette Z06. Maybe a Nissan GT-R. Maybe a Lamborghini Aventador. As long as I have my zero mobile to drive the wife in, all is well. So it would be nice if my piece of trash has a decent warranty and lasts awhile. I plan on driving it until the wheels fall off.

So help me pick out my zero mobile. I’m trying to spend as little as I can on a vehicle I really don’t want. If it were solely up to me I’d be looking at a Kia Rio class vehicle for around $13k. Why? Because all I really need is a rental car in my driveway.  I like the Kia Optima but my wife is too embarrassed to be seen in it. Same goes for the Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, Ford Fusion, Chevy Malibu and Hyundai Sonata. She likes the Volkswagen Passat, so that’s a strong possibility. I think she also likes the new Mazda 6 but I’m not sure I like it enough. What other choices do I have in the low $20k range? Maybe a Nissan Altima. Help me out here…

Humanity Is Ridiculous! I Am Angry!

First, at about 1:10 into the video, one officer hits him with his baton for no reason – and the other officer follows behind doing the same. At that point, Kelly started running (of course!).

Once they got him on the ground, he started panicking because they were hurting him. Next at about 2:20, it appears the same officer who made the first baton strike wound-up and kneed Kelly in the ribs twice – at which point Kelly started complaining that he could not breathe (he died as a result of “mechanical compression of thorax” – which I believe could have occured as a result of these two blows). Now he’s really panicking because he can’t breathe. There’s a difference between resisting arrest and fighting for your life.

Next they start tasing him like crazy and shortly after, at about 4:50, start “smashing his face to hell” (as he claimed at about 10:30) with his stun gun.

Even after the guy can bearly muster up enough energy to SPEAK at about 7:40 into the ordeal, they’re still playing games as one officer says, “He’s falling to sleep” (7:46) and not even HALF a second later another officer says, “He’s still fighting” (7:47) – just a little “Hollywood” for the police recorder…

This was a criminal act. It was a horrific way for any living thing to die… At least three of the officers involved should be in prison. Continuously beating and bludgeoning a man to death while he’s crying for his DADDY… Humanity is F’ING RIDICULOUS.